Alma
I was skipping down the road full of snow and when I was skipping, I saw a black board full of names so I wrote my name Alma. Then there was a sound coming down in the doll shop so I turn around and look at the shop. I saw a doll so I walk to the shop and look to the shop’s window and I saw a doll like me. When I’m looking to my cloth, the doll just got lost to the table so I look to the window if the doll is in there and look to the door and I saw the doll and I try to open the door and it doesn't open it so I felt angry so I threw a snowball to the door and when I threw the snowball to the door. The door just got open and when the door got open I walk into the doll shop and get the doll. When I look to the another doll my doll move to the another shelf so I try to get it but I can’t so I take my gloves off and get the doll and I touch it but the doll get me inside and I try to get out to the doll’s body but I can’t get out so I look all over the doll move and there’s another victim don don don.
The End,
Hey Alliah! Well done, I like the way that you're talking about Alma. But you have some mistakes on your writing and I'm here to give you some feedback. First things first, the doll shop, it's not in the doll shop but at the doll shop because it's a place and it's a noun, anyway keep up the good work!.
ReplyDeleteHey Alliah,
ReplyDeleteI like what you said at the start that Alma was skipping to the black board, nice work. But your story didn't really make scene so next time try do that. Anyway keep it up.
Hey Alliah, this is a very cool story. keep it up. next time i think you should add more interesting word in your story.
ReplyDelete